What Could Possibly Make You Take Your Own Life...?

I had a discussion with a colleague of mine on death this morning. I wanted to know his opinion on the subject.
When I asked him what he thinks of death generally, the look on his face was that of someone who was scared.
He asked in turn... "why should we be talking about death of all the good things there are in the world to talk about..."
And I said well, "the reason why I asked him about death is because I want to know if he could kill himself. I mean, if he could commit suicide.
This time, it was the look of horror that registered on his face. He said..."what a question...!"
He paused for awhile. The silence lasted for about nineth seconds. Then, he shook his head as if to rouse himself from a kind of lethargy.
When he literarily woke up, he said..."to tell you the truth, I have never thought of suicide...not for once..."
And I said..."well, now, you've thought of it and deeply too...so what do you think...?" Is there anything in this wide world that could possibly make you take your own life...?
I decided to widen the scope for him further. Think. Anything. Be it love or love of parents, a worthy course, sickness, disability, or mercenary.... Think, I urged him.

This young man looked at me again. He turned my shoulder sharply and roughly so that he could see my face thoroughly.
He then asked..." is there something wrong...?" I responded in the negative. "Then why are you asking these 'funny' questions....I hope you are not planning to take your life...?"
I laughed. Me, take my own life. Never. And told him emphatically that nothing and I repeat nothing, in this wide world would make me take my own life. Nothing. I prefer to see life through. I would like to know how the curtail would fall. Not me pulling the curtail. I think he got the message.
Why the question on suicide then... he asked again.

I told him a young man who lived two blocks away from my apartment took his own life. He committed suicide. Since then, I have been pondering on what could possibly make a man hang himself. What could make a man force himself to the other of life when it is not his appointed time?
I asked myself several questions on this for days...
The men and women who commit suicide, are they aware that death on earth is not really the end of their existence...?
Do these people who take their own lives know that the first shock a dead man encounters is that he is still alive...though not on earth...? I don't think they know this...
If they do, then they would cherish life and endeavour to live it to its fullness...
Suicide is not an option...
This was turning into a sermon. So, I checked myself...

How Dare You Call Me By My Name...?

Being raised in African has its down side too. One of the most treasured culture there is respect. This is an unwritten code or law as it were...
As a young boy or girl, you are not expected to call your uncles and aunties by name. Not your elders. Its a taboo!
You are not expected also to call the married ladies who may be your neighbours by their names...that is if you happen to know their names...
In most cases, you don't know their names-even if you've lived together for twenty years...
Hence, you will often hear 'mama Tosin', 'papa boiboi', 'aunty Chinyere'...'uncle Emma', etc etc...

Some married men and women even extend this respect(?)... or what should I call it, strange(?), bizzare(?) thing to each other at home...
You hear a man calling his wife by the name of one of their children...'mama so-obscure'(quite mouth full) or 'papa Haruna..'.
This is irrespective of education. May be I should say irrespective of whether they went school or not.
The definition of an educated person is as polemic as the different religions on the face of the earth.

This culture of not calling elders by their names is affecting some us seriously.
When you work in Nigeria, the standard procedure of addressing your boss is 'sir' or 'ma'... as the case may be.
Here,(UK) things are quite different to a large extent.
When I was first introduced to my boss... 'she stretched out her hand and said..."call me Tracy"...
And each morning, it is..."hi so-obscure", and I would respond... "hello Tracy..."
Believe you me, it was not easy at first calling her by her first name just like that...
It was not easy for three major reasons: (a) my African upbringing (b) she is my boss and (c) she's about twice my age...

What beats me hollow is why some married men and women back in Africa do not call each other by their first names.
Why must it be 'mama Sikira' or 'papa Mumu'...?
What if they don't have children...what would they call each other...? And by extention, how would they be addressed by their neighbours- especially the children in the neighbourhood...?

PS:

CHARLES TAYLOR ESCAPED...?

Lets assume for assumption sake, that Charles Taylor was abducted by criminals from Liberia... otherwise, this is a huge mess and world-class embarrassment.

The American Idol...As seen By Me...

The american idol comes to us late. Some of us see the Tuesdays and Wednesdays editions on Fridays.
I love the host/presenter Ryan Seacrest. I usually enjoy the way he introduces the program...
The way he says..."this,is american idol" after the preamble...
The judges are also marvelous-especially Simon Cowell. he has been described as brutally honest.
Simon, has he ever sang...? I doubt. With those biceps like a weight lifter, I very much doubt,if he can sing.

Simon, is the most honest of the three judges in my opinion.
But the only problem I have with him is that he does not give words of encouragement like Paula.
Simon just says the plain truth- he doesn't care if the performer is hurt or not.
I think people will love him more if , he can lace his honest opinion with some words of encouragement.

One other thing I find appalling with the american idol is the elimination process.
Can some body tell me why the contestant who is eliminated have to be humiliated with the very song that cost him or her the contest...?
Why does he or she have to be made to perform the same song that cost them the contest...?
Why can't the losers be given the option of picking one of their best songs to perform since they are leaving...
The idea of repeating the very song that gave you the lowest vote, I find most excruciating and humiliating.

Anyhow, I still salute the courage of all the contestants in this reality TV show.
I love american idol!
I am predicting Katherine Mcphee, Mandisa, Chris Daughtry... to be the three top finalist...
What do you think...?

Ladies and Men...

I must admit;sometimes when I'm jobless or nearing that pinnacle of boredom, I do silly things.
Like last night...I was reading a book, but my mind kept drifting aimlessly from it...
Whenever I find myself in such a state, I go for a walk. But it was 1:58am and wet outside.
I had to confine my itchy mind in...
So, I put on the computer and decided to randomly search and read some interesting blogs.
Fed-up of politics-especially Nigerians'...

I wanted something new, exciting, sinister and comical at the same time. Rather rare and awesome combination you might say...
In my quest for excitement and flavour, something to stimulate my wandering mind, I discovered that alot of ladies do really blog- especially in the US.
Before my mind got bored of the process of viewing these blogs, I counted 178. All,belonging to ladies. Of these numbers, 97 have a central theme on men... the balance 81 were on some bullsh**t like yours and mine.

It is either they 're talking about the ex-b/f who is franticly making a come back or how he was snobbed in front of the night club while everyone was paying attention.
If not that, then it is how he snores at night shaking the foundation of the building.
Ladies sure like to talk about guys.
While guys talk politics and how to move the world forward or break it through wars. What a difference!
My mind is finally bored of read these blogs... I'm going to bed.

Who Can Interpret This...?

I do not attach much importance to dreams. Often times, when I dream, I don't remember same in the morning. I just go about my normal or abnormal duties/chores/boring routines and all whatnot.

When I was younger, I used to dream of horrible creatures chasing me. They were frightening. Once, my grandma advised me to always try and stretch out my legs whenever I'm having these nightmares. It worked.

Now as an adult, I don't like stretching my legs to cut short the terrifying dreams. I like seeing them through. In fact. I enjoy them now. And because I love horror films alot, the more terrifying these dreams are, the more enjoyable they become.
Recently, I had this frightening dream that I was being pursued by President Olusegun Obasanjo of Nigeria...

Dreams are very funny phenomenon... becuase, how I got to 'Aso Rock'-where he resides will continue to be a mystery. But I was there. What preceded my coming before his excellency's presence is a little bit hazy now.

There I was at the same table with OBJ. Though, he looked rather very old and pale. I was relaxed as if it was the usual thing to sit before a 'president' and a retired general.
I remember telling him that Nigerians are not happy with him. In response, he said shut-up..."you that have been away for over twelve years... how do you know that Nigerians are not happy...'oloshi'...

I said what? ..."you are the one 'baba'... who is 'oloshi'... you, who have decided to make the presidency your personal property...
From no where, about sixteen Goliath like men came after me. Instead of 'baba' to respect himself and allow his 'rottweilers' do their job, he sprang up with a surprising agility be-lying his age and look...

Then, the seemingly abominable happened. The president stumbled and fell flat on his 'pot-belly'...
On my heels were these giant guards chasing tirelessly. 'Aso-Rock' is a maze. Too many corridors and doors.

I could not tell whether I was on the first or second or third floor... they all look the same. And I was being sucked into a vortex...I meandered left, then right which tailed at cul-de-sac...
My heart was pounding. And I waited for the worse...
Then, I opened my eyes...I was on my bed, in my room. Dreams. They will always be dreams....

Can't Take It Anymore...?

Today, I witnessed something strange. I saw a man cry. It was a brutal disgrace... to all other men. What the heck! Men are not suppose to cry- no matter what. To make matters worse, he cried in the public toilet at work. And all the women who frequented the corridor leading to the toilet had to snigger around- making faces as if they understood.
This young man always keep to himself. I have never seen him at the staff canteen chatting like everyone else.

I have never even seen him laugh. I like people who laugh. I like Africans. They laugh alot and they always laugh out loud. Some of these 'people here'(you know the people i am talking about... don't want to sound racist) carry on as if sadness is their thing. Some of them always wear a long face. You say 'hi'...all you hear is ..'.hmm'...
This young man who digraced all men, is in that category. Always with a long face. He is going bald... and I know he is relatively young.
We had to bang the door several times before he opened. He was convulsing with bottled emotions.

Jerry. Thats his name. What could possibly make a man leave his home and come to work and lock-up himself in the toilet and cry like woman. (Ladies, I apologise)
Well, when he eventually found his voice, he said..." I am tired...can't take it anymore..."
We learnt later, that the wife was giving him a hell of time at home. How the rumour mongers came to this conclusion till date, I can't tell. I feel so sorry for Jerry. I learnt he is 38, but he looks 68... if not more. He has a tigress for a wife.

The rumour-mongers also said he suffers from High Blood Pressure. I guess his wife will send him to his grave early if something is not done fast.
Some women, they make their men experience hell on earth. Why?

The gods are to Blame for Nigeria's Woe...

The Nigerian situation has generated alot of debate amongst friends here in the Uk.
Yesterday, I ventured to satirize the Obasanjo third term drive by saying ..." afterall, there are no eligible candidates from any part of the country to continue the good work OBJ has started and achieved..."

One or two people misunderstood my sarcasm and thought I meant every word that issued from my mouth...

Whereas what I was saying was that, if the president can tinker with the constitution-arbitrarily to suit his whim and succeed, then, Nigerians are in for a lot of deep shit...

Although, some have argued that Obasanjo's goal is to stay there for as long as 'God's will' (Nigerians love this expression alot- everything that happens is 'god's will'...) permits him... others say twelve years will definitely be the right period to assess his achievements.

But what he( Obasanjo) and his supporters, genuine or spurious fail to appreciate is that this singular action will set Nigeria forty-five years back...
Any elected president-( if Nigeria eventually survives this 'onslaught' and 'rape' by this Ota farmer...) who feels that he needs more time to consolidate his economic and political policies can then garner some political pawns called senators and MPs and with a little threat and generosity amend the constitution to suit him.
May be then , he would amend it to eight terms of four years each- amounting to thirty-two years as being the only ripe time to assess his achievements. Why not?

Afterall, Babaginda rolled out a transition program that lasted eight years and only ended with another five years circus of Abacha.
But what has Nigeria as a country done to the gods that she is always saddled with 'these men' who are hell bent and impetuously so, to destroy the country.
May be, we need answers from the gods here.

Has Slobodan Milosevic Cheated Justice...?

THE RISE and FALL of SLOBODAN MILOSEVIC:

Former Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic has died in the detention centre at The Hague tribunal.
The tribunal said he had been found dead in his cell on Saturday morning. The cause of death is not yet clear.

Mr Milosevic, 64, has been on trial at the UN war crimes tribunal for genocide and other war crimes since 2001.

The tribunal last month rejected a request by Mr Milosevic to go to Russia for medical treatment. He had high blood pressure and a heart condition.

The tribunal has ordered an inquiry into the death.

"Milosevic was found lifeless on his bed in his cell at the United Nations detention unit," the tribunal said in a statement.

"The guard immediately alerted the detention unit officer in command and the medical officer. The latter confirmed that Slobodan Milosevic was dead."

Mr Milosevic faced charges of war crimes and crimes against humanity for his alleged central role in the wars in Bosnia, Croatia and Kosovo during the 1990s.

He also faced genocide charges over the 1992-95 Bosnia war, in which 200,000 people died.

Mr Milosevic was in office for 13 years until 2000.
bbc news


PS:

These are hard times and trying period for most Nigerians and polical watchers. Well, I am streneously and deliberately too, refraining from writing on the comic and ridiculous process transmuting in that West African region.

Can't We Do Away With These Ceremonies...?

Rhys a colleague and friend of mine married his sweetheart last Saturday. The whole thing was so simple. They courted for seventeen months. That was it. He proposed, and she accepted. Now, they are husband and wife.
The marriage ceremony lasted for about forty-eight minutes. And the groom kissed the bride...
The reception was held in their living room. Twelve of their closest relatives and friends attended. Period!

This is one area, where I'm in love with the West. No haggling, no embarrassing and outrageous bride price.
The groom does not have to settle a whole community or village in the name of 'endless' extended family.
He needs not buy some funny looking 'ashoke' or 'jorge wrappers' for six generation aunties and grannies. Nor does he need to produce endless barrels of 'palm-wine' and yam tubers to appease the 'age-grade'.
Here, they just exchange vows(which they may or may not keep). It doesn't matter.

Another African tradition that puts me and a lot others off is the burial ceremonies. Although the muslims bury the dead straight away, I must say, that I do not know what proceeds after the burial...
I don't know why Africans saddle themselves with some combersome traditions and ceremonies...
A man or woman, passes on and the children- especially if they are well-to-do are expected to host a carnival of some sort for the entire town or village. Ironical, I must say.
You are the one who is bereaved .The person who passed on, may even be so close to you. You are the one who is grieving, yet, you are expected to feed people you hardly know. Sounds totally absurd!

Some of these traditions/ ceremonies are rather too tedious. Lets at least reduce the combersomeness and save ourselves some financial embarrassment.

Who is More Realistic here...?

The term business man is so superfluous.Although, some renown business men have come to make the term more acceptable. People like Fayed- the owner of Harold's. Abramovich- the owner of Chelsea football club...late MKO Abiola..etc. These are men who invested in a variety of businesses ranging from shipping to newspaper ownership and football clubs.

But when I meet a young man who says he is a pastor, I'm always very wary. I usually classify pastors as schemers and business men-especially in the US and Nigeria.
A pastor in my 'limited' understanding is one who is in charge of a congregation. So, why is it that they don't work?
Human-beings, they always look for and choose the easy way out... put your problems and life in the hands of another... you are assured of a place in heaven. Bullsh...t!

Is there anybody out there who can tell me why pastors don't work... and then they come out in these outlandish styles and oppresive attitude...?

Why am I talking like this...? Well, I met one of these so-called men of god last night(from Nigeria)... and the experience left a sour taste in my mouth.
The idea of narrowing everything spiritual to a mundane and materialistic slogan and crusade has repelled more people of good reasoning and judgement than attract.
Imagine the arrogance of the man saying..."we need not travel abroad in order to posses our possesions..."
And I asked..."what does that mean...?"
Hear him..." you have been given dominion...whatever you asked in the name of the father, you shall posses..."
And I said..." in the name of the father, pastor give me your wallet..." The slimy schemer looked at me, and said..."you are not being realistic..."

Now, you be the judge, who is more realistic here...? A pastor who does not work, but collects money from gullible people like you or a hard-working bloke like you and you and you...

Is the Grass Always Greener on the Other side...?

Life can be such a bore sometimes. You wake up early in the morning, take a cup of tea or coffee if thats your addiction and you hop on a bus or train for those without their own ride. In most cases, you sit behind a desk and go through a boring routine. At other times, you take the family to a movie or an opera(thats if you have a family) on boring weekends. Otherwise, you solitarily do your own thing- watch tv.

And then the bills come rolling in; electicity, telephone, water, cable tv, gas and council tax. All these for a single man or woman... And at most, for both the man and the woman.
How can life continue like this from Monday to Saturday? Sunday is strictly reserve for rest.
No. Something need to be done. At least for a change. And excitement too.

You know, some people sure can bring excitement to their lives. Why not? They have everything that money can buy. From stupendous castles to palatial mansions on lonely islands and exotic cars. Some even have horses and chariots and private jets too. Rich people!
While some wonder what it takes to be rich, others dream of riches. To them, the grass is always greener at the other side.

But, is the grass truely, always greener at the other side...? I guess, it is only the very rich people that can answer this question.
Or may be those who have crossed from one side to the other. I mean crossed from rag to riches. What does it really takes to cross from one point to the other...? Hard work. Not so many believe in this any more.
One can work his ass out from January to December and become a Methuselah and still be a church rat. And even die a church rat.

However, one can change over night with 92 million pounds. Thats a staggering sum. Someone said if you stack such an amount from the ground up, it will be as high as a forty storey building. Whoa!
Thats the amount some group of men and may be women decided to 'take' from a security depot in Kent(England)last week in order to change their lives and destinies.
These group of men and may be women, were tired up to their neck of a boring life. They decided to change all that.
And what a change it will be for them- if they succeed.
I doubt if they will succeed. Criminals always make mistakes. Or at least, they will exhibit some more greed in the course of sharing the 'wind-fall'. Yes. Someone amongst them will be dis-satisfied and then they will quarrel and fight over their spoil.

Anyway, the police have placed a two million pounds reward on their head for any useful information that might lead to their arrest. Two million pounds! Thats a paltry sum compared to the 92 million the criminals took. Why can't the police make it 12 million. At least, that is a reasonable amount. It will make people (greedy ones) go out of their way in search of these criminals. That search will definitely bring some excitement to their boring lives.

The police, they made a very wise decision to put a reward of just two million out there. They know that criminals will always be criminals. The ones who were not in on the deal, but know somehow those who were involved will now see this as an oppurtubity to cash in. "I'm in or I squeal"... They are hoping to set confusion amongst the criminals. Will they succeed...? only time will tell.

Most times, we think and feel the grass is always greener on the other side...regardless of the price we have to pay.
Most young men and women in Africa and Asia will give anything and do anything to be in Europe and America.
The Americans and Europeans will give anything and do anything for the exchange of real sunlight, mountains, rock and antelope or elephants in Africa and Asia...
Is it really true that the grass is always greener on the other side....?