Now that the Elections are Over, Let Us Celebrate...

I think Nigeria and Zimbabwe and Togo and Cameroun and Liberia(maybe the whole of Africa) are the only countries in the world where the electorates are disatisfied with the dividend of democracy, yet, they keep voting for the same polical leaders..
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The elections in Nigeria have come and gone. The peoples' Democratic Party (PDP) have swept the polls--winning majority of the legislative seats--(states and national) and the apex position--presidency or haven't they?

Now, let Nigerians roll out the drums and celebrate. Let the ruling-class and the elected politicians pat themselves on the back for a successful conduct of a semblance of an election...

President General Olusegun Obasanjo must be very proud of 'Ewu' Maurice--the INEC(Independent National Electoral Commission) chairman. Maurice must score very high in Obasanjo's rating. Why not?

It is only a genius of Ewu Maurice calibre who can hoodwick the people--local and international with INEC's electoral abracadabra -the more you look, the less you see.

The unfortunate history of democracy in Nigeria would not be complete without mentioning the contributions of Gen. Olusegun Obasanjo and the Peoples' Democratic Part--PDP. A party of greedy, selfish, shameless and corrupt men and women.

Now that the spurious elections are over, and PDP have swept the polls, let the obese, funny looking figures with starched brocades mount their jeep cars and ride in roads filled with potholes to their numerous palatial mansions in the villages...while the children of the down trodden stare bewildered, thumb in their mouths--with shining kwashiorkor bellies thrust forward and thread bare underwears with gaping holes--line the streets. Nigeria's tourist attraction!

Now that the elections are over, let the 'haves'--with stupendous material wealth change their generating plants and the noise that emanate from these machines continue to deafen the downtroddens. Let the 'have-nots' continue to inhale the air saturated fumes...

Let Nigerians congratulate their elected representatives. The very men and women who came humbly to their door-steps--promising to make the sun shine twenty four hours a day and rebuild their demolished stores. Saying that policemen will no longer harrass their souls with--'wetin you carry' and 'park' as they return from their hinderland markets--with tired bodies and arthritis joints...

Nigerians can now sleep with both eyes closed--without the fear of marauders at night and broad daylight.

Now that the elections have been won and lost, the scoundrels who were used as body-guards by PDP politicians can now return to their villainy--harrassing innocent and law abiding citizens...

Now that the elections are over, let Nigerians celebrate the decay and rot of their society; while the elected officials pillage the treasury--its pay back time for the godfathers who financed the 'area boys' who were used to disrupt normal voting process...

Bring out the champagnes and choice wines. Let us drink to the dividend of democracy in Nigeria.

...And I would like to propose a toast...

...to the success of PDP, the largest fraudulent political party in Africa; to Maurice Ewu--for being the most unbias umpire in this political abracadabra; I'm not done yet, I would also like us to toast to the fact that--the electoral tribunal is there for all aggrieved parties...

Finally, I would like to say this--the international community and its bias observers can go to hell--Nigeria is a Republic.

Hip...hip ...hip...hurrah!...Hip...hip...hip...hurrah!

Has Nigeria As a Nation Failed...?

What is the definition of a failed state? Is Nigeria a failed state?
This is a question put forward by Imnakoya...grandioseparlor as it relates to another post by African Shirt...

I'm going to rephrase this question thus: Has Nigeria as a nation, failed? I am positive that, if you put this question before millions of Nigerians(aside from the ruling class and an isolated few) the answer would be...YES!

What would any 'reasonable' citizen regard as failure in respect of governance?
Failure as it relates to the governance of a state would mean any of the following:

1.The condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends...
2.The condition or fact of being insufficient or falling short...
3.A cessation of proper functioning or performance...
4.Nonperformance of what is requested or expected...

Now, if you look at the above definitions of failure properly, most people would agree that no.3...(i.e, a cessation of proper functioning or performance) and no.4.(.i.e, nonperformance of what is requested or expected) best describe the present and past state of Nigeria as a Nation.

Is Nigeria a failed state? YES!

What are the basic things that the citizens expect from the ruling class?

a)...Security: Security of lives and property. Would anyone assert that Nigerians are secured?

b)...Employment: As resourceful as the citizens are, the unemployment rate is very very high. Apart from the privileged few who are lucky to be employed, majority of the masses are barely existing... Check this out ....and this too...


c)...Free and Fair Elections: Does anyone want me to say anything here?

That is the succinct report sheet of Nigeria. Brief as it is, the sheet encapsulate the utter failure of this state...

Scratch your head, twist and turn as you wish...these facts on ground can not be wished away by high sounding words or logic.

Where Do We Go from Here...?

Honestly, I love politics. However, the way this game is played in Nigeria, one's interest begin to wane not gradually but steadily with horrifying speed.

Last Saturday evening, after the elections, I called a friend in the volatile Niger-Delta region...
He gave me a blow- to- blow account of what happened and how the military with armoured tanks were used to disenfranchise thousands of would -be voters...

Since then, every page you flip, every article on the pages of Nigerian newspapers speak of gross irregularities and dissatisfaction by many...
So much so that a coalition of the opposition has called for an outright cancellation of the gubernatorial and state assembly elections held on the 14 of April...

The coalition group has also decided to boycott the scheduled presidential elections next Saturday...

Meanwhile, the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), the body saddled with conduct and organisation of the elections, yesterday, asked those not satisfied with the results of last Saturday’s elections to seek redress at the election tribunals, affirming it would not be moved by reports of irregularities to cancel the elections.

Then, you begin to wonder, whose interest INEC represents...?

Renúncia

I have just noticed that someone under the guise of anonymity is pasting some kind of nonsense on the comment section of my blog...
I appreciate comments from 'friends' and relatives who would want to remain anonymous...but 'copying and pasting' irrelevant materials as comments--I don't find funny at all.

I don't know who you are, but I am using this as an appeal , please, STOP IT!

...Who is the Head of the Home...?

I haven't seen Tejiri--my nephew in six weeks. He is eleven. And they are on holiday. So, when I stopped -by this afternoon, he was ecstatic. He almost knocked me over.
I'm the superman--who can do anything, answer any and all questions in the eyes of this young lad. Before I could ask...where is your daddy, he shot me with a barrage of questions.


TJ: uncle , who is the head of the home...?

ME: ...which home,,? Daddy is the head of course...

TJ:...no...no.. I mean who is the head of a home in a family...?

ME: [without weighing the question]...I said the ' father' is the head of any home'

TJ: [with a clenched fist thrust into the air]...yes, yes, I said it...my teacher was wrong...

ME: [absolutely scared of the import of this idea...that his teacher is wrong,]...junior, your teacher cannot be wrong..why do you say your teacher is wrong?

TJ: [looked very excited]...uncle, we were having 'Citizenship'...and { Ms Louisa} my teacher asked the question...'who is the head of the home?'
...and I said the 'father' is the head of the home...she said I was wrong. And we argued. And everyone was blaming me for arguing with the teacher...

*Phew!

*I have to tread carefully here. otherwise, I 'll be 'miseducating' this young lad...teachers are not, under any circumstance suppose to be wrong. If teachers are made to appear wrong, the student(s) suffers...

ME: ...junior, who did your teacher say is the head of the home...?

TJ: ...she said both parents are the head of the home. They are equal she said...

ME: [let me try and confuse this small boy with some grammar..hmm ..hmmm..I cleared my throat..]...you see junior, your teacher was right. In a home,em, both parents(mother and father )...have what is known as complementary equality. It means they both help each other mutually...they put heads together in the decision making..they both weigh everything together...you understand?


*Junior with arms folded across his chest was looking passively--disinterested in my explanation. I guess....

TJ:...uncle, but the Bible says that the 'man' is the head of the home. And that women should be submissive to their husbands. Are you saying the Bible is wrong?

ME:...(Chineke!)...you know what junior, let me see your dad...we'll continue this discussion immediately I finish with your dad ..ok?

TJ: [..nodding his head...]...ok!

* That was how I temporarily escaped from the young inquisitive mind...Anyway, they are on holiday right now, I intend to make my research and go back to 'floor' him in this debate. The teacher must/cannot be wrong!

Virgin(al) Media Lapses...!

For awhile now, I've been in a spiral battle with the above broadcasting media...and I forsee the outcome--court! Please don't laugh.

I was with Ntl Media for some years...then, Virgin(al) Media (which would be referred to hereafter as VM) took over. I was not informed formally of this take-over...yet, I'm supposed to be a customer(who is supposed to be always right)...

This seeming problem with VM started in February 2007-when three of my services were disconnected. I came back from work one evening and tried to make an international call...the phone line was dead. What! Just to double check, I switched on the TV--most of the channels were unsubscribed...still in doubt of what was happening, I decided to switch on the PC--nagative was the result.

To say the truth, I wasn't surprised. I was actually expecting the disconnection(s) to happen.Why? Because, I didn't pay the bills for January and February.Take note, my not paying the bills was not a deliberate act--VM did not send me a bill. The last bill I paid was in December 2006...

Anyway, I went to the phone booth and placed a call to customer services. Take another note, it wasn't a free call. Anyone who is familiar with the routine can picture what I went through.
After being put on hold, and forced to listen to an off-key version of Vivaldi's Four Seasons for what felt like twelve seasons to me, I finally got in touch with someone, a human being.

We went through the usual but boring and annoying formalities--of name, account number, address and password. Then finally, he said his name is Steve Lapses' and asked how he could be of help...
I told him that my services were disconnected and I want to know why. He asked me to hang on for another minute. I waited. The 'slot machine' kept swallowing my coins. I kept adding more. Steve eventually woke up from his latent slumber and said..." I'm afraid you owe £115.21 for January and February.

I said very well. But I want you to look at that same record, and tell me if you people(VM) sent me a bill for those months you just mentioned.

All of sudden, Steve became a stutterer... "em..em ..we..re'..so..so.sor..sor..rri...rry". You are sorry for what ? I scream at him. You didn't send me a bill and now you want me to perform magic...and don't YOU dare ask me why I didn't set-up a direct debit...

Somehow, both us kept quiet for an ackward fraction of a second... Then, I decided to reprimand him by letting him know that it was VM's duty to provide the bills and my responsibity to pay such bills... I told him that the next time they fail to perform their duties and make me suffer, I will cancel the contract...its not an empty threat.

Instanter, I brought out my debit card and gave Steve the card number-with the stern warning that, it was a 'one-off'' payment. And that my services should be reconnected within 24 hours. He gave me his word. The TV came on four hours after, but the telephone and broadband were not reconnected until the next day. Fair enough.

I got the shock of my life when I came home three days after the above ordeal... and saw a reminder bill of £68.67 from VM. This was the 8 of March. My telephone was working, so I called VM immediately. I was told to ignore the bill. It was a mistake. And I said it had better be.

On the 14 of March, I received another bill...£115.21. This was an obvious mistake because that amount was the exact amount I paid for January and February over the phone. So, I ignored the bill.

Three days later, I was at work, my mobile phone rang...it was an unknown number. I answered. The voice at the other end said..." my name is Mr Horrible and I'm calling on behalf of Virgin(al) Media.." I said yes...
"...em, we calling to remind you of your outstanding bill of £115.21...and what you intend to do about it..."

I want you to imagine my state of mind at moment. All I could remember saying was..."are you mad...what bill...?" The bill that I paid two weeks ago?...what is wrong with you people...?

Out of annoyance, I called and cancelled the contract with VM.
One of their technicians came to my house with a report(my name and account no. was on it) saying he has been asked to come and fix a digital cable TV. I laughed. Do these people know what they doing...?I told him that I just cancelled my contract. He was suppose to pick up the digital box. He did picked up the box...after a confirmation call to the office.

My telephone and broadband are still working even though, I have officially terminated the contract.

They still insist that I owe them £115.21. Unfortunately, I don't have a receipt for the transaction (of the payment) I made over the phone...although, I was given an authorization number... and the reflection on my bank statement of the same amount...

If I'm owing anything at all, it should not be more than £40 for the month of March... going by my record...

I need the advise of a lawyer. If you are a lawyer reading this, please advise me for Free... because there is no point charging me for an amount which will be more than the purported bill...

Standing Out in the Crowd...

Recently, I started seeing the face of Mr Ofoluyawo everywhere I go...especially when I'm watching indecent movies. I see his toothy but wicked smile.
I see his grey parted hair that slants to one side like the sixteenth century slave driver.
I also notice his sparkling starchy white shirt that usually takes Okon --his houseboy six grovelling hours to iron.

To meet Mr Ofoluyawo is to meet fear itself. He embodies all the characteristics of a man who must be revered. You either quake before him or you crumble--there is no other option.

Once a group of students decided to dare him-- by staring directly into his eyes... The next day, everyone spoke hushly--Mr Ofoluwayo's eyes emits fire like the fork tongue of a snake...and that, the more you dare to stare, the more you are drawn into his spell unwittingly...

In spite of these dreadful conception of Mr Ofoluwayo, he was loved by all for his morale and outstanding character.
Then, we learnt under misconceived duress--
Now, we appreciate the high standard set for us and we would like to (under pressumed maturity) assimilate these lessons again and again...

Mr Ofoluwayo taught us ..." that in the face of all impossibilties, you can NEVER use Light to look for Darkness "...both are arch- enemies. Wherever there is light, darkness must be repelled...Good must triumph over evil... even if evil tends to have the upper hand for a long time...don't be deceived!

I can still recall some of the hard truth he tried to impart into our thick skulls... truth that were meaningless then...but today, stand as the bedrock of our very existence...

There was a night a group students incuding yours sincerely tried to sneak out of school(at about 11.30pm --after lights-out) to a birthday bash in town--- standing at the other side of the fence was the 'life statue' (as it seems) of Mr Ofoluwayo...
He gathered us into his arm. It wasn't a warm embrace. It was either suspension or outright expulsion.

He took us to his house in the masters' quarters. In fact, he took us into his sparsely furnished living room and delivered this lecture:

"... I know without any doubt in my mind, that you are all well brought up children...but the values which we, as custodians are trying to inculcate into you will be lost if we allow you to continue the way you are going..."

"Life, is very tough...even though I know that some of you are privileged...but these 'privileges' won't amount to anything if each and everyone of you cannnot stand up for the values which we teachers and your parents have strived to inculcate over the years..."

After this collective lecture which brought tears rolling down my cheek, Mr Ofoluwayo further nailed my coffin as it were by pulling me aside... and he continued...

"...I know it is not easy standing up for your values in a large room where everything tends to be directionless; and majority of the people valueless.But remember whose son you are...and try to keep your identity even if surrounded by people who would rather bow to peer pressure..."
Holding your head up high when majority bows theirs low makes you stand out...It is the greatest of challenges!

These words have become more like a rudder blade to me and others in this journey call life...

Imagine this...!

...why are there so many trolleys outside...? I don't know. Get down and find out...It was like a military command--a 'General' giving orders to one of his subordinates...That was the brief conservation between Tracy (my boss) and I on Saturday...

So, I left whatever I was doing and trudged like a zombie downstairs. And truly, there were trolleys all over the place-- some in the middle of the road, others directly behind parked cars...it was chaotic!

I immediately rang up the supervisor in -charge. Paul, thats his name. He came sweating.
Paul, why is there no one picking up these trolleys and returning them to base...I asked.

With an exasperated sigh, he started collecting the trolleys almost immediately.Within a short time, the mess was cleared. But I wasn't satisfied. I intend to find out who was lagging. I went straight to the office to look at the time sheet.

Only two peple signed -in. What happened to the other two...? I asked Paul again.
I can only give account of one he responded defiantly...
And who can you give account of...I asked patiently.
Smith. He is very sick--he replied.What happened to Mr Kwoofie? I asked. I don't know sir... Paul shot back...

I got the message. Tracy and Paul are trying to pass the blame on me.I was the one who personally brought Mr Kwoofie--vouching for his good conduct and character...

This is not the first time he has abstained from work without permission or calling his supervisor....but I'm going to make it is the last...

After work, I stopped over at Mr Kwoofies' place to find out why he was absent....
I met the wife Nana. And from all indications, she's been crying.
Without beating about the bush, I asked her the whereabout of Kwoofie...
Between sobs she told me her husband was arrested that afternoon. what for...? I asked.

She then went on to narrate the most ridiculous story that I have heard in years...
Kwoofie and Nana have a thirteen year old daughter--Aisha.
They all move from Africa to the UK two years ago...Aisha is that type who looks bigger and smarter than her age. Most people(including me-when I saw her the first time) assumed she is seventeen--thats how big she is...

Kwoofie caught Aisha in bed with a guy. A white boy. He decided to take the law into his own hands. He flogged Aisha until she fainted. And when she came to, she had the temerity to call the police...The white boy? He escaped the wrath of a vexed Ghanian.

Mr Kwoofie was given the opportunity to make a phone call... He didn't call me nor Paul his supervisor at work...instead, he chose to call the chairman of his tribe union in the UK...

That was why trolleys were scattered all-over the place...and because I was the one who recommeded Mr Kwoofie for the job, My integrity is at stake.

The funny thing is, I cannot repeat this story before my boss--it would appear as if I brought an irresponsible man for the job --Most of the people at work won't understand--that in Africa, MOST parents beat up their children if they step out of line...and this is quite often....