Monday, July 24, 2006

How Medicinal Is Your Urine...?

Of all the English words that try to explain the state of confusion in the form of embarrassment..., the one that fascinates me most is: 'tongue-tied'.

The adjective is so apt when you think of situations and events that have not only surprised you, but actually led to your embarrassment. To be 'tongue-tied'! What could possibly embarrass you to the point of speechlessness...?

Once I had walked into my best friend's sitting-room...lo and behold,his mother lay stark naked on the couch...
I was not tongue-tied, I screamed..."Jesus H. Christ"! I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I guess I said that a thousand times with my back turned.

Last night, after some pints of beer, I went to the 'gents' to relieve my urinary bladder that was threatening burst its seams...

I just started having my pee and feeling my bladder heave a sign of relief... when I noticed three white boys come into the toilet noisily.

One of them tapped me on the shoulder to draw my attention with these words: "I bet you haven't seen anything like this before.."

As I try to comprehend the import of his statement, he zipped down the fly of his trousers, brought out a monster-like 'willie' and started peeing.

It all happened in flash. One of the other guys just cupped his hands; scooped some urine from 'monster-like willie' and swallowed it...

Then, it was a free for all feast of happy urine drinking and splashing amongst the three...
I quietly and hastily left the loo before the idea of splashing their urine on me will occur to one and all...

When I got back to the bar, I narrated my ordeal to my South African companion...and all she could say was..."is that why you look as if you've seen a ghost...?"

I remained speechless! All I could say then was "...you act as if drinking and splashing urine amongst men or women(if I may add) is a normal everyday occurrence... is it? I asked her.

"Hey, relax... you're taking this too serious. In case you don't know, urine is medicinal..."
Somebody should please lecture me on how medicinal urine is...

And if urine is medicinal, is it another person's urine...? How safe is that?

What if the other person passing the urine has of the numerous urethra diseases like -- gonorrhea, syphylis or chlamydia...? How medicinal would that be...?

She too became 'tongue-tied'....

7 comments:

Imnakoya said...

I have known about this 'urine drinking' crap way back in the 90's while in Nigeria. I knew quite a few of who believed there was some medicinal benefits to drinking fresh urine particularly the early morning urine. Some even went as far as rubbing it on their bodies. They have since realized their follies.

Personally I do not think there is any sense in this; it is utter rubbish. There is an entry in Wiki (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drinking_urine) on urine therapy, so it must be a common but silly practice.

LondonBuki said...

Yuck! I think drinking your urine is taking things a bit too far (even if it is medicinal)BUT these guys took it a few steps further!!! They should drink their own and not their friend's ... YUCK!!!!

I was watching "Just Jade" on LivingTV and a dermatologist was telling Jade's mum that she (Jade's mum not Jade oh) had beautiful skin and she said she uses her urine to wash her face... Double Yuck!!!

Biodun said...

that is some groooseee stuff I say, but I have heard of its benefits, but serious drinking someone else's pee, those guys r special, very special

Anonymous said...

interesting post. especially the humorous touch to all of ur writeups.ur style is unique and funny in a way. but, the message is not lost.keep up the good work.

Nneka's World said...

ewwwww!
That was disgusting!!!!

Yeah, urine is supposed to be medicinal, apparently it can cure dandruff and make your hair grow longer.
Ill rather have short hair than going around smelling like a urinal!

TMinx said...

Thats just plain nasty and quite unsanitary. Ew

Onada - Fashion and Photography said...

eww thats just nasty. i would have gone to the bar to get hot water and come back to pour it on them!