I'm UnComfortabe With Marriage Ceremonies...!

I don’t really like wedding ceremonies.-especially the ones organised or celebrated in Nigeria.
However, I found my self attending one two weeks ago- just to ease tension from the political embarrassment happening back home.

Wedding ceremonies are boring and pretentious in most cases. They are marked by an extravagant outward show that do not reflect the sanctity of marriage-rather, these ceremonies ostentatiously, portray the vanity of man.

There I was, like a fish bobbed out of water. I immediately knew I didn’t belong to such showy gathering full of ‘notice me’ people. I had to suffer for three quarter of an hour-punishment I overtly deserve for being the cousin of the bride. It was the most boring three quarter of an hour I have spent in a long time!
I would have preferred watching or reading the unfolding comic drama taking place in the national assembly in Abuja.

What I witness was a carnival of some sort- not a marriage ceremony. How people can participate in a such a show of hypocrisy still beats me. Mark you, I am not anti-marriage. What I despise is the carnival-like splurgy and misplaced ceremonies that follow the so-called union of two people.

Most marriage ceremonies are insufferably outlandish-especially if the couple or one of them is a ‘money miss-road’ fellow. My cousin (the bride in this case) is a lawyer. A budding lawyer for that matter. So, she couldn’t have raised seven hundred and fifty (N750,000) thousand naira (about $6,000) just for the venue for the reception as I gathered.

The groom whom I hardly know and have never met before the wedding day is a business man. His line of business, I can’t tell…yet, there were over five hundred bottles of champagne and all kinds of wines…
Why they would rent or hire two live bands is beyond my comprehension. The ensuing idiotic theme tunes blaring from all spheres made the already humid air intolerable. Meaningful conversation was an impossibility.

I asked an extended relative if she knew the groom well enough. By that I mean the groom’s line of business.
To this I got …’he is very powerful business man…’ I see. May be this chap is the one who got the award for the controversial contract for the renovation of the speaker/deputy speaker’s residents in Abuja. Otherwise, ‘na proper money -mis-road be dis’…

For the better part of forty-five minute, I saw the stupidity and folly of some Nigerians. A man actually stood out in the crowd by spraying hundred($100) dollar bills on the couple and the sycophant musicians-who went on rampage drumming and crooning loudly for attention. The whole scenario was a bedlam of starchy igeles and the overbearing smell of new clothes mixed with cheap and conflicting fragrance of expensive perfumes.

Everyone seems to be happy. To be more appropriate, everyone was pretending to be happy. Or were they really happy?

I guess I was the only sad soul there. I feel so sorry for my cousin. She looked tired and frail too. May be she fasted for forty days and forty nights for the this wedding to actualise . Well, I wish her all the happiness she deserves…and her husband too.
And I hope this stupendous ceremony was not a make -believe…and a reflection of our folly!

NIgerians Cry Too Much...!

Nigerians are the most difficult human-beings to please on the face of the earth.
Why? They are never satisfied. They always grumble about their leaders and about anything under the sun.
Take for example the last elections. Nigerians -mostly populated by drawers of water and hewers of wood cried foul.
What do they know about the conduct of free and fair elections. Who are they to say the elections were rigged when the likes of Obasanjo and most PDP stalwart say it was fairly free.

As if this is not enough, these ignorant and mostly illiterates dare to raise their voices and question the honesty of the ‘elected ‘ president and that of his vice when they both openly declared assets-gotten through long and tedious years of hard work.

These Nigerians also attempted to tarnish the image and reputation of the immediate past president-general Olusegun Obasanjo - accusing him of attempting albeit cunningly to change the constitution to permit a third presidential term and to thwart the efforts of opposing contestants like Atiku.

One thing that annoys or probably baffles the ruling class is that majority of the Nigerian electorates/ followers are naïve, uneducated, gullible or plain stupid.
The ruling class cannot comprehend the naivety of the so-called followers when they cry foul each time they try to make life more comfortable for them through their leadership and examples.

Nigerians would question and cry about just anything done by politicians-especially when it comes to money spending. When the former president-Olusegun Obasanjo came to the conclusion that the fleet of aircrafts attached to the presidency were not befitting enough for a man like him and decided to add a Boeing Business Jet (BBJ) 737-800, bought at the cost of about $7.9 million or N1.04 billion, Nigerians went over the top-screaming their lungs out asking-was it necessary? The vintage Obasanjo asked them to shut up.
Do Nigerians expect him to squeeze himself and all his special assistants into one small box? They are not serious!

I will digress a little. If you are a Nigerian and you have (of course you must have!) attended one of the ubiquitous ’owbanbe’ parties in and around the cities of Lagos or Ibadan or Benin-City or Port- Harcourt or Kaduna…then, you must have noticed young men and women and children- who go about with nylon bags collecting leftovers from the tables and floors. Most of them look wrenched, unkempt and emaciated. Some them even scramble and argue over who saw the leftover plate of food first. They may quarrel and sometimes fight over these crumbs.

These wrenched of the earth are not paid to do this job. They actually rely on the leftovers for survival. Most likely, that would be their only meal for the day if they are lucky…

The class of Nigerians whose picture I have painted above are not the ones that cry foul each time billions of naira is spent on frivolities by politicians. This class of Nigerians are too absorbed in the day to day struggle of survival of how to eat and where to sleep to know what is happening in Abuja or Aso-Rock.

The class of Nigerians who have become somewhat like thorns in the flesh of politicians are those who want to know how Patricia Olubunmi Etteh the speaker of the house of representative and her deputy-Babangida Nguroye could allocate and award contracts worth N628 million for the renovation of their official residents including the acquisition of 12 cars…

How on earth would any sane human being living in Nigeria today (let alone a public figure) justify that stupendous amount of money on renovation and cars given the excruciating and harrowing experiences of the poor in their midst…?

N628 million for renovation of houses/cars? Nigerians should note that these houses were refurbished in 2003 and were befitting enough for the speaker(s)/deputies who occupied them. Some stories are just too baffling to comprehend.

Whereas the Federal Government of Nigeria is threatening to cut by half the total number of graduates who are to serve the nation in the NYSC (National Youth Service Corp) because of fund, and whereas most Nigerian university libraries are filled with obsolete books and empty shelves, the Speaker of the House of Representative and her deputy have chosen to walk the path of honour by spending recklessly tax payers money on frivolities and lies…

It is sad and shameful that a country like Nigeria with so many talented and intelligent people would be saddled with some idiots- who call themselves politicians…yet, cannot put their priorities right…somehow they have become a source of embarrassment to the nation and her people…